Weird People

If you ask me, I would love nothing better than sitting at home, with a glass of chilled Ice tea in my hand, surfing Digg all day. But, alas, we do not get to follow our dreams. Someone has to get the bacon home, and hence, I have to get off my ass, ride over 65 KM every day, and get to office.

One would assume that the most annoying thing about work, is well...work. But I beg to differ. The most annoying parts of work-life are the coworker that one has around us. These annoying people are everywhere in your regular office. I am willing to bet that besides you, everyone in your office, falls among the following catagories.

1]Slap-you-on-the-back-dude. This is a guy, who appears to do nothing, but take frequent loo breaks. It so happens that your seat falls on the route he takes to the loo, and he playfully hits you on the back everytime he passes you, as if you wanted to know that he has been to the loo. If you have such a guy in your office,all, I'll like to tell him is, "I hope you washed your hands, after you did your business in there"

2]Eye-on-you-lady. This woman, appears to have no life of her own, and is very intrested in what you are up to. She keeps an eye on the wearabouts of everyone in office. She is looking at you, when you are chatting on Gtalk, when you talk on your cell, and even when go for a coffee break. I'm pretty sure, she keeps a count, on how many times you go to the loo. All I'll like to say to her, is, "I know my life is much more exciting than yours,but that doesn't mean you keep an eye on me all the time"

3]Bugs-you-before-you-are-settled-guy. You have just reached office, all tired from the long journey from home, and are settling down. You haven't even switched on the computer, when he appears at your desk, like a waiter at a prompt restaurant. He probably has some work with you, but for the sake of god, he can't understand, that you need to settle down, before you can do it for him. He will look over your sholder, while you fill in your password, while constantly bugging you about a file that he wants.

4]I-Smile-you-do-my-work-girl. Ok...you know her. She probably is pretty, and used to getting her way with men. If she looses her pen, 10 different guys, take their pens out of their front pockets, and offer it to her. This example was a metaphor for what they really want to offer her. Whenever she has some work to be done, 10 different guys are fighting with each other, over who will get to do it. Now, when she has some work with you (probably something that she should do, but dosen't want to do), she comes up to you, smiles, and asks you to do it for her. More precious than her smile, is the incredulous look she has on her face, when you refuse. She doesn't know how to react, and she either goes away confused, or gets angry at you.

5]Been-there-done-that-guy. He is probably 10 years your senior, and has done a lot of stuff. Worked on the latest stuff, changed hundred jobs, seen the world. Somehow, he thinks it's his job to educate you to the ways of the world. He will talk a lot of how he did this and that, but when you try to pin him down to specifics, he will baulk. He will advise you to stay out of Inter-office politics, but will be the orcestrator, of most of it. God forbid, but If you ever go to him for practical advice on something, he will claim that it's very easy, but will actully fail to mention anything remotely useful.

6]I-have-a-boyfriend-behenji. This girl, is one, who you would never have turned out to give a second look. She probaly has never been with a guy alone, but has somehow managed to get some desparate guy to make her, his girlfriend. She is overjoyed at this development, and wants to announce to the world, that she has a boyfriend, as if she has met some important benchmark. She will chat with him loudly on the phone, mouthing the most cliched fuddly-duddly stuff. She will be on the lookout for anything she can misconstru as a flirting, just so that she can annouce that she has a boyfriend. She will initiate conversations about how weekends are fun, just so that she can say, she is going for a movie with him.

7]Don't-rush-old-guy. This guy has been stuck on the same post, for as long as anyone can remember. God knows, he might have been on the same post, when the company began. He will ususally try to tell you, not to work hard, or be over ambitions. He will advice against showing initiative, and will try to bolster his case, with anecdotes, about how people suffered when they showed initative.

8]Pointy-haired-boss. How can I miss him? He is everywhere, trying to motivate you, without undertsanding you, or what you do. He will be unskilled in most of the things, that people under him do, but he will still tell them how to do, what they do. He will be the most mathematically-challenged, but he will be the one, that will throw more numbers around, than everyone around.

I could go on and on, about him, or other weird characters in Office, but then, this post would never end.