Love lost: An allegorical tale

Their first meeting, was totally unexpected. He was with his friend, while she was with hers, amongst thousands of people on a January morning. That cool winter morning, running along with entire Mumbai, along Marine drive, he didn't feel strange to stare at her. When their eyes first met across the road divider, he was stunned. He hadn't seen such beautiful eyes before. It didn't matter that she was soaked with sweat, for so was he. It didn't matter that her hair was messed up, coz no one can have beautiful hair in such a situation. She had a beauty, which shown thru all of that, and he himself was surprised to be attracted to her physically, when all along he called himself an intellectual creature.



He felt a surge of energy, felt more alive then ever before, and began to run faster, so that he could catch up with her. Running so fast made his friend breathless, but it hardly mattered; he had to meet her. When he reached closer, by some strange twist of fate, which god had planned all along, his friend recognised hers. Soon they were chatting, which was hard to do, when you have got to run 13 miles. So began that unlikely bond. By the time the foursome reached the finish line, he knew he had found 'the one'. Our crocodile hunter had found his Terri.



That race turned into lunch, lunch gave rise to coffee several days later, which grew into daily encounters. Meeting her totally changed him. He began to dress well, turned into an extrovert, he began to be concerned about his appearance, and he became more cheerful, confident, and so on. Most of people around him recognised the change, and wondered about its source.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well it didn't entirely change him. He was still afraid, very afraid. He never got the guts to tell her how he felt. He preferred to remain alone, rather than experience something new, which could hurt him. It didn't help when he told himself, that just because some other girl had hurt him years ago, this one would too.

Looking back at this, all of that felt like a joke. Did he really love her? Then why couldn't he muster the strength to tell her. This probably meant that he didn't love her, he told himself. It was just too difficult to accept that fear was stronger than love, especially when all love stories said that love conquers all, especially fear.


So had all this been a dream? The evenings at Kala Ghoda, the dinners at Leo's, the walks on the beach, the waiting on the platform, those conversations over cutting chai? What was all of that? He remembered being happy, having fun. Really, what was all that? It was too late now...She was leaving for the U.S. 'Who goes to the U.S. nowadays?’ he asked himself, 'especially when everything is available here?' He conveniently forgot that the root cause of cynicism is usually jealousy.


What about the fantasies of growing old with her? Of seeing the world together? They had a lot in common, and that is why he was drawn to her in the first place. He had enjoyed doing these kinds of things with her over the past few months, and had hoped to do so throughout his life. All those fantasies were now lying in the wastebasket of time.


~~~~~~~~~~~~
He met her that last one time, to say his final goodbyes. He had been telling himself over that last few days that he would be better off without her, but he didn't believe that lie, one bit. But it was too little, too late. He still couldn't muster that mythical strength, to confess his love. 'She probably doesn't love me, for if she did, she would have said something’ the coward within him was saying. He approached her with fear in his eyes, and hugged her one last time. As she crossed over into the departure lounge, he thought he saw sadness in her eyes. Something died within him that day.


P.s. This is an allegory, and any conclusion you draw from it, is a reflection of your mental state