Delhi Vignettes - 1

After two weeks in Delhi I have sort of settled down, and stopped being shocked by the varieties and the idiosyncrasies that this city has to offer.
As a Mumbaikar, the most striking fact is the pace of the city. In Mumbai, we are used to the fast pace, where time is very valuable, and everyone tries to do things in the most time efficient manner. Be it the shopkeeper who directs a boy toward you if you are standing idle in his shop, or the Auto driver who takes the money and gives you change in a flash, everyone is quick and nimble. P.L. Deshpande had written in one of his short sketches, that for a Mumbaikar, the watch is attached not only to his wrist, but also his destiny. When I told a co-worker that I was from Mumbai, the first thing that she said was 'Life bahut taze hota hoga, naa.' I don't know whether our life is fast, or theirs is slow, but the relative difference is striking.

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I happened to travel by the Delhi Metro, this Friday. Now the Delhi Metro is matter of prestige for most delhites. When I had told some expatriate Dilliwalaas that I would be in Delhi, the first thing most had said, 'You have to travel by Metro'. Whenever some foreign Dignitary comes-a-calling, they are shown the Delhi Metro as a symbol of India's Development. I wonder what they think about it. They must be wondering, 'These Indians call 'this' modern? Then they are behind London by almost 120 years.’ What did I think, you ask? Frankly speaking, I am not at all impressed.
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As a Mumbaikar, I am used to long distance mass transport being a challenge. The Indian Railways must have decided that since Mumbaikars do not have much time for exercise, their daily commune should involve a sufficient quantity of it. This will lead to a fitter citizen and a healthier life. The Metro people here have no such lofty aims.
When you want to go up, you have the option of an escalator. Paying the fare and buying a token involves standing in a line for hardly any time. As you wander in the station, you don't have to raise you hand either to your eyes or nose, to avoid your senses from being offended.
There are markings on the platform which tell you where the doors of the coach will stop, and how you have to stand. When the metro train comes, you gather at the sides of the doors, and wait for them to open. Once they do, then people will come out from the centre, while you enter from the sides. In about 30 seconds (30 seconds??? the local trains in Mumbai stop for barely 11 seconds) the doors close, after an audible warning. This is what disappointed me the most.
You cannot show off you simian characteristics, which survived so many million years of evolution. I am of course talking of 'Hanging out’. This is the most fun part when travelling by locals, back home. Also you cannot show-off your feline skills, by rushing off to the closest available forward facing Window seats, due to the very absence of such kind of seats. Further more, vertical distance between the platform and coach is hardly 1 cm, while horizontally it is about 4-5cm; something that will hardly be called a gap by a Mumbaikar.
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The announcements however, are as funny as in B'bay. There we have the announcers asking us to 'Pay your attention' like it some extortion money we have to dole out. Here you have a male voice in Hindi, and a female voice in affected English, talking to you while you are travelling inside the coach. They help you out by telling you which the next station is, implore you not to litter the stations, and remind you to save you limbs by staying away from the doors. The female voice at times tells you to 'Please mind the gap.' This is the aforementioned gap. Methinks they should say 'Please don't mind the gap' since it is so small. The passengers are also warned to take care of their valuables, since ‘Pickpockets have been identified in the coaches’. I wonder that if they have been identified, why they haven’t been arrested as of yet, and instead allowed to roam free.
There is however a nice egalitarian result of the Metro. There is only one class, and no ladies or handicapped or luggage compartment. Everyone travels by the same class. You will see laptop toting executives and cloth bag carrying dehatis besides each other, hanging on to the same hand support, which like always, comes at my cheek level, threatening to destroy my eyesight.
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The food is going to be a problem. I am used to blazing through the day with only a couple of Vada-pauws and a cola, in my stomach. Lunch here consists of proper Punjabi Veggies, deep fried is the most cholesterol high oil, to be eaten with Roties covered with a thick layer of butter. No wonder I feel so sleepy in the afternoons.
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I visited Rajiv Chowk at CP after ages. It is now totally changed. The Rajiv Chowk Metro Station is underground, with two lines crossing; So It happens to be the largest station, or so I am told. For this they had to dig the Chowk up completely (as seen from the Google Maps) and they totally redesigned the garden. It now has beautiful walkway, manicured lawns, Powerful fountains and a nice open Air Amphi Theatre.
I also happened to dine at Nirula's. The standards seem to have fallen. I was looking forward to pigging out like I did along with Zulfikar back in 2001, but the first dish I had, itself was disappointing. I had asked for a footlong, and I got something that resembled a Long Pizza, with the mushrooms being dry and the cheese being chewy and not at all creamy. Nirula’s seem to have lost their identity, post their takeover.

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In case you think I am being too harsh on this city, please remember that this is the Vindictive and arrogant Opinion of a pure thoroughbred Mumbaikar, on seeing a superior city. When you come to Delhi, you feel like you have come to the 'Rajdhani'. Be it the elegant curves under the flyover for U-turns, or the sparkling lines of led's on the road dividers or the uniform Urban fixtures, or traffic signage that actually makes sense, all make you feel like you are at a Special place. Infact I'll go so far as to say that if you have a place to stay, there is nothing like Mumbai, and if you have accommodation and your own vehicle, there is nothing like Delhi.
On an ending note...You feel the grandeur and the royal heritage of the city, the moment you land here, either at the railway station or the airport, when the Auto-wallas claim astronomical sums for short distances.