Chasing the Good Life: On being single

I found this book in the strangest of Circumstances. The previous night, I had this long conversation with a friend of mine, about being single. We discussed the benefits, the gains, as well as the travails of being Single. We talked about going over to the dark side, and whether it was worth it.

I went off to sleep in my parent's bedroom, because my mom was asleep in mine. The room was dark, it was late, and I was tired. So I went of directly to sleep. In the Morning, as I was woken up by the chirping of the birds, my eyes turned to the nightstand, and I saw this book. Chasing the Good Life: On being single, I read. I thought I was still dreaming, so to check, I took the book in my hands. It was real.

I proceeded to the Index. Khushwant Singh, Radhika Jha, Farrukh Dhondy, Dolly Thakore, Suhel Seth, Jerry Pinto; People I have read before and liked. So I was intrigued. I wanted to know what these people had to say about the Singleton’s life.

Don't get me wrong. At my age, I am not thinking of Marriage. But being single is not having that special someone to share things with. For most of my adult life I have been single, mostly out of choice, sometimes out of circumstances, because destiny willed it so. I have been accused of being everything: from a Gay to a misogynist, to even a venustaphobe. I have usually replied that I like the company. Very often the word single has a particular meaning which it is meant to express, without using the appropriate word. For Most people Single=Alone=Lonely. Now I don't think that, that is a valid assumption, but I can't change how other people think. I wanted to know what these people feel about the single life, and I began to read it with much interest.

As one contributor said, 'This... was meant to be a breezy, witty, sassy piece on the joys of the single state'. So is it? It most definitely is, but it's much more than that. It not only is a heartfelt, humorous take on single hood, but it also manages to capture the subtle nuances of their life.

The best thing about this book is the variety it offers. It has 28 contributors, from all ages. These singles, are not only the unmarried single, but the divorced, serially married, widow(er)ed, as well as one, who claims to be a Married Single.

It starts off with an introductory essay by Bhaichand Patel, who regales us with his reasons of staying single, and even mentions in passing, how he almost got married to Rekha. Khuswant Singh mentions how he enjoys the pleasures of farting, while Radhika Jha notes the problems faced by a single person in finding a place to stay.

As Kanika Gahlaut says, 'The trouble with Single in the City chick-lit outpouring is that they are as predictable as a J.J. Valaya fashion show. You know what to expect. Either they are well-written Whines or they put forward the 'I lead a swinging life, who needs a man anyway' argument- both streams having spewed avoidable isms and literature worldwide. The truth about singledom lies somewhere n the middle.' This anthology tries to follow the middle path.

You have a beautifully written piece on becoming 'Suddenly Single' by Gouri Dange, you have the problems of the single mother brought forward in 'One plus three' by Anjali Puri, while Annes Jung touches us with her piece 'A world of my own'. On the other hand you have the always entertaining Suhel Seth, telling us his secrets of Seduction, Renuka Narayanan informing us of the advantages of singlehood in 'Minority Report’ and Rahul Singh excusing his singlehood, by blaming it on his 'imperfections'.

The problem with this anthology is the one that is there in all. All the contributions are not of the same level. Karan Thapar's piece is not even worth reading, while Dolly Thakore's essay, though from the heart, seems like a school essay, given it's pedestrian language and banal ideas. As someone wrote in this book, 'It's difficult to write about something that is a state of being as if it were a choice.' Not everyone can do it, but those that manage, do it beautifully. The Book should be definitely read, for the wonderful insights of all these people, whether we get them or not.

The words that they use, the ideas expressed and the metaphors used are wonderful, and humorous at the same time. When Mahua Sen mentioned 'carrying the heavy corpse of my own life' I know exactly what she meant, even though she used it to describe a different situation. Somebody else talks of the word Singleton, being a cross between single and Skeleton. What surprised me, as well as the editor, is that few people have written about sex or lack of it. Apparently there is more to life then just sex.

In the end, if you can learn anything from the book, it should be what Namrata Joshi Says, ‘I guess most of us singles are idealists, hopeless romantics who are not denying company but looking out for that perfect attachment, a soulmate.'